Life and Work Harmony

Much has been written and spoken about life / work balance.  For me, this issue has always conjured up an image of scales (bronze ones that lawyers have in their offices).  The moment of actual balance on such scales is fleeting and is a practice of perfection.  Life…it ain’t perfect, so perfect balance is a tough thing to strive for.

Sometimes you tip over more on one side, wobble back to the middle, and then tip over at the other side.  (Hopefully you don’t topple over altogether!) 

The other imagery about work / life balance is that of juggling.  This mental picture is often brought to mind when children come into the work/ life balance equation.  Mums and Dads find themselves asking “how can we juggle our 2 year old at day-care, our 4 year old at half-day kindy (with Wednesdays off), our jobs, homecare and other commitments?”  A good question!  One that I dare say can’t be answered by getting out the bronze scales, tightrope walking pole or even juggling balls.

Perhaps the answer lies in harmony, rather than trying to achieve unattainable perfect balance. 

Start with acceptance that life isn’t perfect, that things cannot be equally apportioned or balanced when there are so many factors (requests for shift changes, mother-in-law coming to stay, sick kids, sick pets, dress-up day at school, bills to pay, lawns to mow…..) that can just pop into our lives at any time.

Don’t compare yourself to others and wonder how they seem to cope much better than you.  Everyone struggles at some time or another.   Why not ask how others manage, get some hints and tips… you may even receive an offer of assistance. Most people genuinely want to help and appreciate the compliment of you asking them. Or, engage an experienced and trusted career counsellor or coach.

In terms of your work, look at what aspects you like, as well as what you don’t like. Consider the structure – could this be changed to suit you better? Could you work from home, partially, or move to work that is closer to home for shorter commuting time? Also consider your household (you and your partner) and what your main activities are – creating income, running of the household, raising a family etc. Track where you spend your time (eg. how many hours per week spent watching TV?) and where you spend your money. You may be in for some surprises.

If your work is a constant source of stress and unhappiness for you and / or your partner, start to look at where you can make changes, within yourselves as well as your situation.  Career counselling may be of benefit to you in this regard and in planning a transition to more satisfying work.

Simplifying your life and surroundings can also bring benefits. Getting rid of excess junk means less stuff around the house to tidy or find storage room for. Simplify your transport - I always wondered how we would make do with “only” one car, when I initially gave up the corporate car (and job) to run my own home-based consultancy. Guess what? We started to walk to school a few days per week with the dog (a 4km round trip) and very occasionally used a taxi (which amounts to saving thousands of dollars per year, versus running two cars, not to mention the health benefits for the family and the environmental benefits of one less car on the road.) Of course, public transport is always an option, as is walking, cycling and car pooling.

What about the number of activities your kids engage in weekly? I have met young school children who are “booked up” every night of the week with one activity or another.  They are not even available to play after school with friends.  Their parents see these commitments as opportunities for them to find out what they like doing and what they are good at, as well as helping them to become “well-rounded.”

Unfortunately, this can become a recipe for always doing, rather than being.  There needs to be some space, for kids just to be – be connected to themselves, to nature, to others in an unstructured way.  I thoroughly recommend Maggie Dent’s excellent book, “Saving our Children from our Chaotic World: Teaching Children the Magic of Silence and Stillness.”  (www.maggiedent.com) for parents, teachers and those who want to make a difference in the lives of children.

Harmony also means going with the ebb and flow of life.  It means making decisions based not purely on economics, but on life enhancement.  It means recognising our true values and what we really want our life priorities to be.  Harmony doesn’t always mean adding more things to make life better, it sometimes involves taking extraneous things away.  It involves deep listening, to what is really important in our lives and the lives of our loved ones.

About the author

Lois Keay-Smith is a mum, career consultant, counsellor, writer and speaker, living in Perth, Western Australia.  Lois is the Principal of Career Wisdom and helps people create a satisfying work life and discover their life’s work. Visit Career Wisdom at www.careerwisdom.com.au

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